The Need Of Approval Kills Freedom

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them”. – Oscar Wilde, The Picture of Dorian Grey

I am constantly evolving, my priorities are reordering and I am discovering a shortness in tolerance. My inquisitorial lust of being amongst the immediate trend or up to date faddism is slowly beginning to lose its appeal. I have to question my objective and unravel if my passion meets the demand stowed upon those determined to reach, what may be an elusive climax. I stumble forward warily, I reach a cross-road and I question my affection towards a strain of my craft, I fell so deeply in love with before.

My consistent battle with emotional connection canters more steadily with age, my once sufferable acceptance to others competitive plight of self glorification wears thin and I feel down-beaten with the strenuosity and often nastiness of sports-like competition. I reflect upon my surroundings and I feel a bona fide sadness towards my generation and the narcissistic, egotistical outlook, where self-grandiosity soars to such heights, we become manipulated and easily angered, so wrapped up in our own hype we forget our morals and manners.
The urge of the big city exhausts me, my heart thirsts for the warmth of my loved ones, my natural surroundings and the comfort of where I belong. I realise I have out-grown the crave of social acceptance and the high intensity of scrambling negatively to reach the pursuit of continued approval.

The need of approval kills freedom.

Positively I return home full of knowledge and ideas. Translation of technique and trends that can influence and encourage my clients is now my lone objective. With resolute and heightened emotions I felt a powerful appeal to each of the four shows I was involved in; Xander Zhou emulated my favourite era of 1970s punks, with restless rebellion and tribes adequately named Boys In Striped Pyjamas, Venus In Chains and Texturise, encompassing all three tribes, Gary Gill teased out this rebellion subtly with uncontrolled freedom of matt texture.

Christopher Raeburn/Christopher Raeburn X MCM, shared my everyday ethos of reduced, remade and recycled, with core value of sustainability and functional fabrics- it is designing with a conscious. Gary created on both Raeburn’s shows, natural movement, functionality with a deconstructed edge.

This season I spread my wings and confirmed my first show with another head stylist Takuya Uchiyama, the team lacked the structure and solidarity of Gary’s, yet I was moved by Takuya’s passion and illation for his art and position. Alex Mullins S/S17 collection was described as industrialised romanticism, a bi-gender offering of cleverly cut denim against delicate silk and pastel powdered prints. Mullins studied his craft under my favourite designers Alexander McQueen and Jeremy Scott.

I travel home with a feeling of unbalance, I feel weak, tired and my emotions are drained, my body exploits its turmoil through mouth ulcers and swollen feet. I dream excitedly of alignment, exercise, home-cooked food and the company of my family. People are often intrigued by the glamour of fashion but the reality of what is involved is often overlooked. I am whole heartedly grateful for my experiences this trip, every season brings re-evaluation on my career and my outlook, my confidence in my ability as a well rounded stylist has increased as has my strength in character and how I deal with uneasy situations.

Dont be afraid of being the person you have become.

“we’re living in a looking glass
As the beauty of life goes by
You’re going to be so oh
You’re going to grow so old
Your skin so cold”.

Long Live the VEF and I am glad it rained on your birthday QUEEN.